The Power of Positive Thinking

Kelley and I have three courses on the LinkedIn Learning platform. The first, Planning Your Family Leave and Return, and the second, Returning to Work with a Resumé Gap, are comprehensive, content-rich courses with multi-layer curricula and pages of instructional hand-outs.

A combined 80,000 students have taken these two courses. Not too shabby.

Our third course, Managing Your Jobseeker Mindset, is a shorter, "lighter" course with less instructional content and fewer physical takeaways.

Concerned that a course centered on positive mantras and self-care would be perceived as "fluff," we were reluctant to film it. But our producer was persistent - and we wanted the exposure - so we signed on the dotted line.

And lucky we did, because it turns out LinkedIn learners like fluff. More students have completed that short mindset course than our other two courses combined. And it continues to attract more learners, five years later.

Two of my dearest family members reminded me about the power of "fluffy" positive self-talk this past week: my sister Maureen's granddaughter, Emmy, (my grandniece), and my father's Aunt Gloria (my great-aunt.)

Emmy is a fierce and fiery two-year-old, perfectly happy (preferably so) at the center of the action. But she's a little less confident in and around the water.

For a full week, she stared longingly at the "Bongo" trampoline the twenty-something cousins sunned on and flipped off during our family vacation. The only way to get out to it was to swim (Emmy hasn't learned yet) or to ride out on a kayak (Emmy is frightened by the boats.) She was land-bound.

On our last day at the beach, I invited Emmy once again to ride out to the Bongo with me - and to my surprise, she agreed. "It's OK," she said as I made the first paddle pull, "Aunt Susie paddle the boat. Aunt Susie go slow. Aunt Susie hold me. It's OK." She repeated this mantra the whole way out. It was adorable.

After bouncing gleefully with the girl cousins for a spell, it was time to return to shore. "It's OK," she said as my niece Sheila lowered her back into my kayak. "Aunt Susie hold me. Aunt Susie take me back. Aunt Susie go slow. It's OK." She repeated this second mantra the whole way back.

Although there was fear and anxiety behind her words, Emmy spoke them with confidence - and conviction. With every word, she was literally convincing herself she was safe. And it worked. Her first trip out to the Bongo and back was happily uneventful. Her sweet little voice, repeating its mantra of faith in Aunt Susie, made everything "OK."

That is the power of positive self-talk.

Aunt Gloria is a fierce and fiery 99-year-old. Like Emmy, she is perfectly happy (preferably so) at the center of the action. But after breaking her hip and needing surgery, she's had to retreat from the "action" of her adult living community to a rehab facility for recovery.

I visited her yesterday. Already, she knows the names of all the staff and has made friends with her room-mate and other residents. "It's amazing how much the people like me here, Susan," she remarked, adding: "It's too bad for them that I won't be staying long."

(She's nearly 100, a female with a broken hip. The odds of quick recovery are definitely not in her favor.)

And, then, she shared her plan for early discharge. "I'm doing my exercises," - she demonstrated them with remarkable flexibility - "and I told the PT that they're too easy, so she'll give me more and harder ones" - continuing with conviction, "I can do it." Aunt Gloria has figured out that the more she shows the staff she's motivated and capable, the sooner they'll send her home.

We took a slow roll to the fitness room where I met Brijal, Aunt Gloria's physical therapist. Out of earshot (which isn't far in Aunt Gloria's case) she whispered, "Your aunt is eager to get out of here. Her age is concerning, but the doctor and I are thinking we might discharge her sooner than planned." I gave her an enthusiastic thumbs-up. Aunt Gloria's positive talk was working!

As we rolled out the fitness room, Aunt Gloria turned to Brijal and asked presumptively: "Is there any chance my roommate Lizzie can be discharged when I am? I'd hate for her to be left alone." Brijal couldn't commit, but Aunt Gloria did by taking matters into her own hands. As I packed up to leave, she was leading Lizzie in the exercises from her PT book.

"You have to push yourself, Lizzie," she coaxed. "You can do it."

I'm not sure it will work for Lizzie, but I'm pretty sure it is working for Aunt Gloria.

Such is the power of positive self-talk.

With all of the negativity in the workplace and in the world these days, we could all benefit from following Emmy's and Aunt Gloria's lead - and talking kindly and assuredly to ourselves.

Next time you're feeling fearful, tell yourself "It's OK," as Emmy did, and when you feel unable or out of control, tell yourself "You can do it," as Aunt Gloria did.

And for more guidance and encouragement, you can always take our LinkedIn "Managing Your Jobseeker Mindset" course!